Romance is one of the ways to sustain a relationship. Its importance cannot be underestimated as it strengthens love between partners.
Being romantic to one’s partner is about expressing love and being intentional about it in a way that is unmistakable. Expressing genuine love can be in diverse forms; paying attention to details, doing small things that matter, gestures, being clingy, telling one’s partner how they mean to one among many other beautiful things. However, the most important thing about being romantic is the intentionality and originality of all of the actions.
On her view about the issue, a graphics designer and wife, Hauwa Sanni, noted that being unromantic was relative, stating that the efforts the unromantic partner put into the relationship mattered a lot.
She noted, “After we got married, I had a personal resolve to start becoming better. I would write love notes and place them in his box which he takes with him to the office. I would stay all by his side when we were at public events and when he saw the efforts, he became even more romantic and I can gladly say that he made me a better person.
On his part, a bank worker, Festus Agu, told Sunday PUNCH that he cannot cope with an unromantic partner.
He said, “How would I invest my all and the person would not return even as little as sending me romantic texts? That’s not something one should accept. Before I got married, I had a courtship that failed because the ladies were not putting in the effort. Being unromantic is something I can’t cope with.”
Agu stated that unromantic partners were like deadwood and only made things harder in homes.
He noted, “When the home is going through a difficult period, romance can be a way of salvaging and saving the home. That little appreciation and affirmation from your partner can keep you going and set you over obstacles. For me, being romantic isn’t about sex, it’s about genuinely showing love to one’s partner.
Agu stated that his wife was unromantic at first, stating that had become better.
Also, a nurse, Biola Mathew, noted that dealing with an unromantic partner was huge, adding that one had to understand that people cannot be the same.
She noted, “I’m a lovey-dovey person and got married to someone who is always glued to work and barely has time to do the things. Even when he has time, he does not. It was hard when we got married because I tried to change him but as time progressed, I got to understand him and we are living in absolute unison.”
Commenting on the issue, a relationship expert and counsellor, Ganiyat Akanbi, noted that many unromantic people do not intentionally become unromantic, stating that certain things made them that way.
She said, “With my experience, I have realised that many people who find themselves in this situation were products of some experiences and that has reshaped their thoughts. Following the natural order, it’s normal to do these little things but many people were victims of certain circumstances.
She noted that the other partner had to understand the differences to have a lasting relationship and a beautiful home.
She stated, “Many partners nag a lot about what their other half cannot do and most times, compare with another family but I can assure you that it won’t solve the problem. Some persons have become completely shut that one has to be totally softened to bring them back from where they are.
“When you compare your partner with others, nag at all times, the partner, in his/her human-like behaviour would not take you seriously. Why? Because you do not have trust or confidence in them, even if they are the type that could be easily influenced, that would make them harder to break. Partners have to understand these differences and only then would they attain bliss.”
